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A Minister And A Day Off His Rocker

I was tootling along one day last week, quite focused on getting my business for the day done. In fact, I was feeling good about the progress I was making with my “to-do list.” Nothing is more satisfying to me than the sense of being in control of my schedule. I love checking off items on my “to-do list.” As the scheme of things usually develops with me, this euphoric situation was not long-lived. It was left to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage to bring a sense of reality into my life. “Haven’t you forgotten something?” She asked me. This question drove me back to my daily planner. Frantically, I searched my schedule to see what appointment I had missed or what project I had overlooked this time. With all due respect to her, I could not find anywhere in my schedule, or on my calendar, where I had missed anything.

Buried in Treasures – Help for People With Hoarding Issues

People with hoarding issues are often isolated and misunderstood. They think that they are the only people out there who have too much clutter. But it’s more widespread than most people know. You can’t tell a hoarder by looking at them. It has nothing to do with how much money you have or your level of education. Hoarding is a dark secret for most people. But now there is hope.

To Grin or Not to Grin, Is My Dilemma

Through the years, I have experienced one dilemma after another. I remember my father once told me, “Son, when life delivers you a dilemma, make lemonade out of it.” To which I looked at him with a big grin and said, “Is there any dilemma I can make a root beer out of it?” My father did not grin back. This may have been the beginning of my career as a grinner. Rarely a day goes by that I do not find something to grin about. I have earned a Ph.D. in Grinology. One problem I have discovered in this is that I do not know when not to grin. This has caused me a dilemma without any lemonade whatsoever or root beer. On my wedding day, I grinned all day long and nobody ever had to ask me the question, “What are you grinning about?” Everybody knew. I never had any problem with grinning and nobody ever challenged me about my grinning. I guess it is just my nature to grin about everything.

I Wasn’t Born Old It Just Happened That Way

Everywhere I look these days people are obsessed with age. More products are sold today to make you look younger than anything else. Everybody desires to look younger than what they actually are. I think that is rather hypocritical. Just saying. It seems to me that nobody is happy with the way they are. When you are young, you want to be old and then when you get old you want to be young. Nobody is happy being what they are at the time. The problem with me is that not all my clocks are ticking at the same time. Things seem to just creep up on me without me being aware of any of it. For one, I did not know I was old. It dawned on me this past week when I was sitting in my chair in the middle of the afternoon. I had no inspiration to get out of the chair and go do something. I was just feeling a little tired. You know, sometimes it is important just to chill out for a little bit.

It Was a Belly-Binge Kind of Day

It’s not often that a day goes my way. Occasionally, I have a day that focuses on my desires and me. It was a Monday evening right after supper and the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were watching TV. “Oh,” my wife said, “by the way, the girls and I are going to go thrift store shopping all day tomorrow.” At first, I was a little stunned. I wasn’t quite sure why she was telling me this. It’s not like she needs my permission to go thrift store shopping as long as she doesn’t take my truck. But, being the veteran husband I am, I did not ask any questions. I have found that after a long marriage as I have had, that when you ask a question you will get an answer. Most of the time, the answer is not what you really want to hear. So, I keep my questions to the very minimum to say the least. And usually, I do say the least.

Stuck Between a Virus and a Varmint

Normally, I’m not a superstitious sort of a person. But then again there is a good case to be made that I am really not normal. If you stop to think about it, (and I have), the average person is a composite of everybody and the description ends up to be that of nobody. That is exactly what I think about being normal. I must confess, I do have a sliver of superstition running through me somewhere. Often I have the feeling that someone is looking over my shoulder and smiling rather sarcastically. I cannot prove it, of course, but I know it is there. Several things happened this past week emphasizing this feeling of mine, and I am not at all convinced that it is simply coincidental. After all, is anything coincidental? It all started when the computer at the church was viciously attacked by a computer virus. Who do you call when your computer has a virus? And, what in the world is a virus doing inside my computer? Doesn’t it have something better to do?

It’s Hard for Me to Conceal a Giggle

Throughout life, I have discovered many challenges. Some I have handled fairly well and others have handled me pretty badly. That is what makes life so interesting. Every day there is a challenge to face and every day there is a victory to win. Recently, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary. I would not be truthful if I did not admit that those 48 years have been rather challenging. Not so much in a negative way, but each challenge carried with it a life lesson. At the end of these 48 years, I must confess my wife knows more about me then I know about myself, or her for that matter. How she has come to these conclusions, I do not know. But, to be honest I do not know very much about myself compared to what she knows.

Our Heritage

Even though there are a variety of names in Canada for the first Monday of August, most areas of the country observe it as a public holiday. In Alberta we call it “Heritage Day”. There are different ways that people celebrate as well as different ideas about what heritage even means.

I Sure Do Miss St. Sanity

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and me recently celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary. It sure does not seem we have been married that long. I guess, as you get older, according to my grandmother, time goes faster. If that is true, I must be getting older. We met in September, became engaged in February of the following year and in August of that year we had our “I Do” ceremony. As a naïve young man, I did not know that that “I Do” meant that for the rest of my life I would “Do.” I must say I have tried to keep up to that sacred covenant for all these years. Confession is in order here, and I must say that on the wife’s side of this relationship, the “I Do” covenant has been faithfully upheld.

My Mirror Doesn’t Lie, But Sometimes It Giggles

I have never been fascinated by my looks, and I don’t think anybody else has either. Sometimes, however, I have to spend a little more time before the mirror to get prepared for where I am going. I must say, I am not fond of mirrors and I make it as quick as possible. I do not trust mirrors. When I was a youngster, my family lived very close to Hershey Park in Pennsylvania. One of the major attractions there was the “House of Mirrors.” You would walk in and the mirrors would distort what you really looked like. Walking through, we would always laugh and point to the person in the mirror not acknowledging that it was us. I could not trust those mirrors at Hershey Park, which has stayed with me all my life. I had forgotten about those mirrors until recently. I was getting ready to go somewhere and the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said, “Have you looked in the mirror today?” Not knowing what she was talking about I muttered, “Yes, I glanced at it this morning.”

And Then, There It Was

It is not that I do not like to travel; I just don’t like to leave home. I am quite comfortable at home where I have everything I need within easy reach. Sometimes I have to travel to a conference or something, which is rather inconvenient for me. However, as my friend used to say, “That’s life.” According to my calculations, I would have to travel 13 hours to get to my destination. I pondered for a long time whether it was worth it or not. Then the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said, “Go ahead. You need a break.” What she meant by “a break,” was far from my comprehension at the time. I guess she needed a break from me, which is my personal opinion. However, taking her advice I packed my bags and prepared for my trip on the road. Early the next morning I loaded my vehicle and set out on my trip. I must say that driving by yourself and being alone does have its advantages. After the first hour or so, I lost track of what those advantages really were. Talking to myself is the most boring conversation I could ever have.

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About the Author: James

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